Sunday, January 04, 2009
Warning
Attention aggressive dogs and their owners: I do not mess around.
If your unleashed dog charges me when I am on my bicycle I will instantly become paranoid and therefore dangerous. And now, thanks to Dave, I will also be armed.
If your dog comes in range looking anything but adorable, cuddly, and subservient I will spray it in the face with Halt.
If you get angry that your dog now has to suffer through several minutes of stinging heat I will explain that being bitten by a dog hurts for much longer and that I don't intend to repeat that experience ever again.
If you claim that you had vocal control of your dog I will point out that the last time I was bitten the owner was across the street unsuccessfully trying to call the dogs back.
If you claim that your dog would never have bitten me I will point out that the last time I was bitten the confused owner claimed that the beast had no teeth. If you continue to argue I will shove my scar in your face; trust me, that wound did not come from a gumming.
And if you at any time become aggressive, well, I am still holding a can of Halt.
| posted at: 10:24 |
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